scandalous books

The Ethical Slut by Dossie Easton and Catherine A. Liszt
Ostensibly a guide to being non-monogamous in a posi way, this book is actually more of a guide to being sensible and non-jerky about any kind of relationship (sexual or not, monogamous or not) and about being responsible with your sexuality while having as much fun as you possibly can. The chapters about jealousy and boundaries are especially amazing, with lots of good tips about recognizing and dealing with issues and situations that make you uncomfortable. After reading this, I found myself making more of a conscious effort to figure out what was actually causing feelings of jealousy or discomfort in my relationships with partners and friends, instead of just either getting irritated with them or pushing down my feelings because I felt like I shouldn't feel that way. Anyway, this book is full of sensible yet endearingly scandalous advice from two women who have spent a lot of time creating and maintaining the communities of family, friends, and partners who surround them. Good stuff.


Redefining Our Relationships: Guidelines for Responsible Open Relationships by Wendy-O Matik
This feels like a companion book to The Ethical Slut. It talks about open relationships, but with a focus on the non sexual parts of them, which is amazing. Friendships and other loving, caring relationships that aren't sexual tend to be devalued a lot of times. You put your primary partner as a priority in your life, and of course any other sexual partners as well, but a lot of times friends aren't accorded the same importance, which is pretty ridiculous, in my opinion. Wendy-O Matik talks about how one person cannot (and should not) be expected to fulfill all of your needs in life, then works through a wide range of challenges that often arise from open relationships (dealing with jealousy, establishing guidelines with your partner, etc.), but also talks a lot about the rewards of working towards the freedom of being close to everyone you care about, and recognizing the potential for a far wider range of different types of friendships and relationships than we normally consider an option.

Striptease: From Gaslight to Spotlight by Jessica Glasscock
This was an impulse grab from a sale table, and I'm definitely glad I picked it up. The photography is amazing, with images from all eras of burlesque performance, including hand tinted photos of breath-defyingly corsetted women, action shots of skirt and balloon dances, posters for 1920s shows, and even modern performers like Dirty Martini. It's cool to see the progression of body types and levels of scandalousness change over the years. Glasscock does a good job of tracing the history of striptease, explaining that it "did not spring whole from the mind of some red-blooded American boy with money from his paper route and a taste for tassels." Nineteenth and early 20th century performers imitated Greek statues in full body stockings called "fleshings", the Ziegfield brothers popularized the high-kicking vaudeville style of burlesque, and by the 1950s striptease was well established as nightclub entertainment, with costumes and straightforward emphasis on naked ladies rather than pseudo-artistic entertainment becoming a lot more like the strippers we're familiar with today. Fun stuff.